A Collective Pause-The Solar Eclipse

The Great Silence

I am sure you have heard the news-everything is connected. Ya, ya…I know. However, in moments of Grace, that awareness is so awe inspiring and so beautifulI that I can barely find the words to even type this message. In hindsight, a series of events that do not seem at all connected take on new meaning, the connections only obvious with the purity of the new energy that presents itself.

Event 1: Breaking the negative dark night of the soul dream cycle in an obvious way:

Dionysus, God of wine and fertility, pays me a visit and seems to prefer orange sheets. He teases me that I am thinking too much when I start analyzing in the dream that he is here to help. I was also wondering why his hair was not darker as I prefer my sexy dream helpers to be the smoldering type (hmmmm…admittedly, there has been a bit of dry cycle for me during this dark night of the soul stuff).

And, yes, (believe it or not) I am still preoccupied in the dream that I need to get my business going…When I can laugh at myself, rather than beat myself up, I know I am more than half way there. The obvious lack in my life lately is the missing vitality. I am not someone that can live happily for long without a healthy dose of “Anima Mundi.” Yes, I am an introverted type of female Hermes. But I am a female Hermes that needs her “Anima Mundi.” Evidently, my dream guides agree. Message received, just in time for Spring.

Timing: three days before the Solar Eclipse on April 8, 2024

Event 2: Automatic talking session.

When I first was waking up spiritually it was like, all of a sudden, the trees could talk to me. Then in my imagination, the birds could too. Then there was the wind. My goodness I love the wind. The wind had messages for me too. I started automatic writing and automatic talking as a way to get out of my overly analytical mind.

Mythical features started talking to me too, in my automatic writing and in my automatic talking. Yoda was alive. The Old Crone was full of helpful wisdom (she liked to curve my back to look like Yoda, so I did wonder if they were a couple…). When I talked like Yoda, I sounded just like him. I had these signals. St Germain would teach me to dance in my automatic talking as he was tired of people only thinking of him as “the money guy.” Unicorns were real. Lion beings were my friends.

I had symbols to know the energies (although St Germain liked to tease me and pretend to be different energies. He called it “guess the energy game”).

Then all of a sudden, everything went dark. The talking to trees went silent. It was like being abandoned by God. With no wisdom from my nature spirit and mythical friends, my fears got more pronounced and the self doubt debilitating. I still practiced the automatic talking but it was like pulling teeth to get me to do it and the whole time I assumed I was just sputtering nonsense.

Unfortunately, this went on for years. Many dark nights followed, lots of endless shadow clearing. I once asked an intuitive why other people got to have a life without being perfect and her response was simply:

“It is your time. It is not something happening to you. It is happening for you.”

Then the other day, I tried my automatic talking again. I really did not want to, but I very much needed the missing wisdom and the lightness of being that used to come with this personal storytelling hour. My mother was the one who talked me into it again (evidently her devoid of “Anima Mundi” daughter has not been too pleasant to be around lately).

The Mother aspect of God came through in a way that felt like my heart was speaking with the words pouring from my mouth. It was an energy that felt like pure unconditional acceptance. It was like I could say and do anything and the love would still be there. You can’t understand that kind of love without experiencing it. Human love, even when well meaning, can’t touch this kind of love. at least not in my life so far.

She was speaking of her partner, the Father Aspect of God. “He is your Father and he loves you. He is not always very chatty. He is the great silence. He is the great pause. When you look for proof in the world in social media or in other ways as proof of his love, you will not find it. It is only now that you have emptied enough of the dark bits that got in the way that his light can shine for you, that you can receive him. Be grateful for the quietness now, even on social media. You are in the great silence, in the space between breaths.”

Timing: two days before the Solar Eclipse.

Event 3: A dreamless and quiet night. I actually slept.

I have not been sleeping very well. That has been true, unfortunately, for most of my life. However, I slept. I did not dream. I woke up refreshed. I was surprised as it was the morning of April 8th, the day of the Solar Eclipse. Lately, on these big energy days I do not sleep well and my dreams are often very dark, as if all the underworld beings empty out of their hole and terrorize me in my sleep. However, I woke up without dark circles under my eyes, feeling very energized. Now, I am sure you have heard all the stories about how the dark people are trying to hurt us and bad things are going to happen during the eclipse. I could not feel that. I would feel it if that kind of darkness were present. But it was not. I felt energized and full of hope for Spring. I felt more confident.

During the day, I went for a walk. I remember that feeling when I could feel that someone wanted to speak to me. I could feel St Germain’s energy. It is like loud thoughts that push to the front of my brain. He thoughts were simple but important for me. “You do not need advice as you have had the right ideas for years. You had them at the beginning of your journey. You just needed your mojo back. You needed to regain your faith. You need that feeling of hope, of deserving. It is a deserving you do not need to earn.”

During the actual Solar Eclipse, I was meditating. You are not going to believe it. The body movements were back. My head was swinging like the infinity 8 like it used to when I was first waking up. The St Germain dancing was back. My head moved straight up toward heaven which was my Christ energy signal. The Old Crone was back. My friend The Tree of life came for a visit. The Goddess said hello. I could feel them all.

The Creator comes in all kinds of amazing shapes and sizes. In losing this connection and then getting it back, I feel like one of the Jedi knights in Star Wars here to remind you to: “Let the Force be with you.”

And during the Eclipse, during the darkness with a sliver of light still present, the Force was with me, reminding me of its presence.

Timing: the day of the Solar Eclipse April 8, 2024

I hope you had your own beautiful Eclipse stories.

(Originally Published April 9, 2024..Last of my older blogs that I reposted from my internet break) 

Was the Scorpio in My Dream Good or Bad?

What happens when my dreams stop giving me helpful information? I count on my dreams for inspiration and guidance. However, over the last several months my dreams have been very dark. It is hard for me to understand how much of this is normal subconscious stuff (does not feel like it), what is going in the world or what is going on with me)

To give you an example, before we learned about the underground tunnels in places like Gaza, I saw one of these tunnels in my dreams (not in Gaza but in the UK) and it is definitely not a nice space. In my dream, there were dark rituals and harvesting of energies in various disturbing ways (I hope it is okay but I would rather not go into too much detail here but you can use your imagination). There were elite people in these spaces, not just unknown terrorist characters.

I have been slow to wake up spiritually. It is still a work in progress. The gift of prophecy or sight seems to be more my thing. However, I do not think of it as seeing what is going to happen. It feels more like a spiritual war, fighting for timelines, dark possibilities for humanity compared with more empowering possibilities where humanity has a greater chance of learning lessons of sovereignty and spiritual embodiment.

If there was one positive in these darker dreams, it is that I have noticed a pattern lately of feeling less fear. I face the people causing the problems directly and do not run from them. In the example above, I faced some very evil characters and started to destroy their machines and harvesting rooms. I kept thinking to myself in the dream “I am a sovereign being and I do not consent.”

It is hard sometimes to see such evil confrontations in a positive way, but I am finding I am so much stronger than I ever knew. I also realize that witnessing some of these dark occult rituals provides clarity that I need. Some things in my life and the world make so little sense until these dreams explain what is going on. I have an opportunity to take action to help myself and learn what are the ways I can help others. One of the nuances here is the shadow work. My shadow work process has been long and extensive. However, if I let myself believe some of the trickster beings in these dreams, I would blame myself for everything and never stop.

I have slowly learned to trust myself. That is no small thing. I have received many negative comments from well meaning spiritual people over the years that think they know better than I do about what is going on with me. I mean no disrespect to spiritual healers, but no one really knows better than you do about what is going on with you. The light within your own heart is the only guide you really need. I have spent so much money on healings and guidance and almost nothing has worked better for me than my own meditations, walks in the woods, journaling about my dreams, eating right, automatic talking, and learning to be present in my own life.

Perhaps I have turned the corner with the dark dreams. Last night I had a dream I was visiting an old town where I used to live and I was looking for a gift to buy a friend. I was in a store owned by a woman. She offered to make me lunch and I explained to her how much I miss that town. Then I left the woman and walked in the other room and saw a man sitting at a table eating a piece of pepperoni pizza. I saw a stick with a big black bug on it and I was startled and dropped the stick on the floor and told the man about the bug. He stood up and was about to help me get rid of the black bug when the bug turned into a scorpion and he was terrified and walked away. I woke up after that. I was not sure when I woke up what was really going on in that dream.

When I am confused after one of my dreams, I usually use my Tarot cards to explain the dream symbolism. I just play and I am no expert, but they are quite helpful. I was expecting some devil card or similar explanation for the scorpion (Note to self: do not look on the internet for dream explanations on the scorpion as you will not like what you see). I was afraid it was another negative dream with dark warnings about some horrible thing coming in my life. However, the tarot cards were largely positive. What it seems like is that it was a message to me that there will be signs from spirit when I meet new people whether I can trust them or not (this has been an ongoing and difficult problem for me). That man was not on the trust list!

What we perceive as negative can be the very thing that saves us, so be careful about your assumptions. The dark has important gifts and lessons for us as well, but we need to pay attention.

(Originally Published April 3, 2024…I reposted some of my older blogs that I took down on an internet break)

When You are Triggered

Crisis Vs. Enchantment

Lately, my dreams have been so off that I am so relieved to have a dream that was fresh out of the land of enchantment. The amazing part is I am all grown up but, fortunately, not too old for a bit of enchantment. I once had a spiritual teacher who said that a crisis creates cracks that lets the soul in, but enchantment does the job far easier. Well, there are certainly many triggering events for all of us, so there are no shortage of opportunities to let more light in…hmmmmm.

A large fawn appeared in my dream recently and was just standing there. I knew in the dream that it was not a normal fawn. There was something otherworldly about it. I hugged the fawn and started to cry. She had such innocence and grace. I also felt that part of her message was “to please lighten up and let the light in. Enchantment is a better way to find harmony and joy in your life.”

I have to wonder how many opportunities am I missing for these lighter moments of enchantment because I am so triggered left and right every time I turn the computer on. I read about more people that are taking social media breaks and you can certainly understand why. I have never been that big on any of these platforms, but the little I am on still unnerves me multiple times of day depending on the platform and the subject.

The day I was feeling one of these triggering moments reading comments about millennials, generation X (my generation), generation Z, generation alpha….

I guess as a generation X person that would explain why most of the time I feel like I could say almost anything online and still feel invisible. Someone that comes from a younger generation could say exactly the same thing and probably get hundreds of likes and claps. When not invisible, there is the gas lighting. When there is not the gaslighting, there is the one upping and competition. It feels like you need to be constantly writing blogs, notes and chats every five minutes or the world would just think you were dead and forget all about you. Also, the more polarizing you are the more clicks you get, so the triggering is built into the game. There seems like no escape except to take computer holidays and hide in the woods where I just might stumble across some enchantment.

I wonder how many enchanting moments we are all missing. Someone might write a blog that is just the creative inspiration you need that day, but it is a miracle if you ever find it because that person does not live online. My goodness, the note might be a year old. How would someone ever find that year old note when the main way to get likes and attention is to write multiple articles, tweets or chats per week (and to go out of your way to seek as much attention as you can with radical hashtags designed to push buttons)?

Now with AI there is even less opportunity for the kind of magic that can only come from serendipity. Why read at all if you can just let the AI gather your information and summarize for you? But what about the exceptions that are not in the summaries? What about that one fringe thought that AI would not see because of the training it receives? What if that one fringe thought is enough for the right type of person to see to catalyze the discovery of a new alternative energy technology?

Lately, writing online is starting to feel like putting a message in a bottle, hoping that whoever needs to see it will somehow.

(I took down my blogs and reposted several of them again. I originally published this one in December 11, 2023)

 

Gaia and Uranus Finally Unite

 

Gaia, Mother Earth, the Mother of All

This is an article about Gaia, Mother Earth, who was known as the Mother of All Beings in Greek mythology and who played a very significant role in shaping the world of mythology from the very beginning with Chaos to the reign of Olympian Gods. This is background information for my blog below. 

https://mythologian.net/gaia-m...

The Merger of Opposites:

In the midst of global chaos, war, and dark dreams, I occasionally get a break and have a dream that is so mystical and beautiful, I cry in both the dream and when I first awaken. I read recently about the myth of Gaia and Uranus which I attached above. It does all sound quite awful reading about the myth of Gaia, Mother Earth and Uranus, Father Sky in the story above. It is filled with incest, monsters, chaos, jealousy. Basically, Father Sky is separated from Mother Earth and their son Saturn or Chronos (depending on the particular, myth, but it is the energy of time) castrates Uranus on his Mother’s request. In this story, she felt that he would watch over her if he were in the sky. She felt the only way that could happen was to chop off the part that kept him tethered to his earthly animalistic desires.

That is where my dream began. He was very young, perhaps just a teenager or maybe a bit older. He had blond curly hair so I would know the imagery of the light and sun that illuminated him. He was so beautiful and his energy so extraordinary that all I could do in the dream was cry. Now, in the long period of this time of his castration, there were angels in the background in my dream taking care of him. They had him hooked up to an IV line and were pumping him with heavenly fluids in “that particular area” to keep him safe and nourished with his life force. I felt a twinge of sadness as I looked at him and saw the IV line and what was going on. However, he was not sad. He was illuminated and shining his loving energy on everyone that wanted and needed it.

Then suddenly, this beautiful woman with long dark hair walked up and embraced him with unconditional love in her eyes. Whatever happened to separate them was forgiven. His life force returned. I was really crying in the dream during this scene and then I woke up still crying. I started laughing remember the story about Gaia and Uranus and I like to think I have a hint of how the story really ends that those reading the mythology have not yet discovered. For me, this was the journey of my own soul back to the light without my terrorizing ego (“Saturn”) blocking my soul power from fully manifesting in my life. This lovely couple was like my beloved, resurrected Pan&Syringa.

In the Tarot, it is the Lovers Tarot, which is the sixth card. The fifteen tarot is the Devil which we discussed in an earlier blog, which is the opposite energy of the Lovers energy (where your heart, body and mind are more balanced). When your soul returns to the light within you, the lovers card represents the sacred marriage in our kundalini rising story. It is when your third eye opens up and restores your connection to your higher self’s light and energy. At this point, the number fifteen Devils Tarot transforms to the enlightened man energy (the divine human), with you fully embodying your soul’s potential and wholeness. Two opposites reunite and create a beautiful third energy which is the real essence of you. This the story of your kundalini awakening. In my opinion, it is one of the biggest things going on with humanity right now. Many people, hopefully, will return to their own inner light and leave the outer shadow of war, division and terror behind.

Did I actually witness the exact moment when my separation ended from my soul and light?

Finally !!!

Originally Published November 22, 2023

Spiraling In

 Journey from the Ego to the Soul

Recently I was playing with my new Tarot Deck called “The Sacred Geometry Oracle” by John Michael Greer. One of the things I like about John’s Sacred Geometry Tarot is that it forces me to quiet my mind as there is no other way I can make heads or tails of what these cards are trying to tell me. I also enjoy his detailed instructions of how to draw the geometries. It is something soothing to me like walking in the woods or chopping vegetables.

His website: https://www.ecosophia.net

His Bio:

John Michael Greer is a widely read author, blogger, and astrologer whose work focuses on the overlaps between ecology, spirituality, and the future of industrial society. He served twelve years as Grand Archdruid of the Ancient Order of Druids in America, and remains active in that order as well as several other branches of Druid nature spirituality. He currently lives in East Providence, Rhode Island.

This morning, I drew this card from the deck:

“The Spiral” Tarot Card from “The Sacred Geometry Oracle” by John Michael Greer

I have been having some really nasty dreams lately. Perhaps it has something to do with all the sadness, corruption, polarization, and violence in the world. Perhaps it is related to my own grief over all the difficulties I have had in my personal and professional life over so many years. I am not one that likes to hang around a victim state. For that reason, I hesitate to describe these dreams as “hijacked” but I do wonder sometimes. The trickster and evil energies have been strong lately in my dreams.

Recently, a really evil man was trying to talk me and another woman into walking away from our soul missions or else “bad things would happen to us at the world fair.” She is a really big leader in our space, but we do not work together or even know each other outside of this dream. I have been blocked for many years working to clear intense emotional trauma to get my life force flowing again. This has been a multi-year journey as I have described in previous blogs.

For some reason, we were both in London. According to Google, to be chased at a fair could relate to the need to confront your fears or face your challenges. London, hmmm…no idea. Maybe London had something to do with changes to the world’s financial system. The woman stamped his document like a notary and I asked her why she would give into her fears like that. She felt sick to her stomach and shouted “yuck” over and over. When I asked her why she gave into his demands, she said she did not (and I was like “sure, whatever. I saw what I saw”). I told the man to his face he was not a nice man and I did not like him. There was a child-like innocence to my words, like my inner child was doing all the talking.

In another recent dream recently, my inner child was insisting I get my nails done. I finally did that today and painted them diamond blue just for her. She also wanted me to get my hair done, which I also did right before this weekend. She had the biggest smile on her face in the dream, the smile larger than her tiny face. After all these years of trying so hard to heal, to see and feel the joy and innocence of my inner child warmed my heart, calmed my mind, and soothed my weary soul.

So the “bad” man in the dream gave me the shivers. However, my inner child talking through me with such courage and grace gave me strength and hope. He had no power over her (“me”) anymore. These days I have trouble understanding the difference between my own healing or the healing of the soul of the world. Maybe that is the point. Maybe that is all any of us can do, to restore our faith and connection with our own soul and spirit. That was the message I received yesterday during a meditation. The Divine Mother and Father came through my meditation and insisted I open my arms wide to the sky and receive their healing first, so I have a full and overflowing cup of grace, healing, and compassion to share with the world. I was also instructed to release all my burdens once and for all into their arms.

Now back to the Tarot Card….According to the description for Card 21, “the spiral suggests that the design you have begun to draw upon your tracing board has much to unfold, if you allow it to follow the directions and dynamics it has already set in motion. Just as the oak unfolds from an acorn, the smallest portion of a spiral’s arc already contains the full outward sweep of the finished spiral in potential; follow the potential, and your design will unfold as it should.”

To unleash your soul’s potential means clearing out all the trauma and dark bits that get in the way of the power, love and light that are your birthright. It also means facing your fears, having strong boundaries, and speaking your truth regardless of how difficult that might be. That is especially true today. It takes so much courage with all this polarization, anger, grief and pain to reveal your truth in this way, so be good to yourself. Do not be hard on yourself. Just put one foot in front of the other, take it one step at a time, and know you are not alone.

Originally Published October 29, 2023

What Does the Myth of Prometheus Really Mean?

 You can read plenty of views on Prometheus. Some worship him in a dark lord kind of way and others stay away from thinking about him at all for fear that he represents evil or antichrist energy.

Like most mythology, however, there are always layers of imbedded wisdom and truth, a type of timeless wisdom that is far beyond any human concepts of good and evil.

So the story goes, Zeus chained Prometheus to Mount Caucasus for misbehaving and giving the power of fire to humans.

Chiron, the Wounded Healer, was immortal. Chiron set Prometheus free. Zeus took away Chiron’s immortality from him and sent him to the underworld. Chiron willingly sacrificed himself. As long as fire was stuck as a result Prometheus’ chains, humans could not access their power of the sacred fire. With Chiron’s help, we can consciously choose to awaken our power. By sacred fire, we are referring to the kundalini awakening, the awakening that results as the sacred fire moves through our chakras from the root to the crown to heal our energy centers in our bodies.

Haven’t we all had experiences where we are forced to face our wounds in our subconscious and unconscious similar to how Chiron willingly went to the underworld? It does feel like a death experience. I have discovered first hand how horrible the grief can be. There we face our greatest wounds and fears, but we also have a chance to reclaim our lost power (or sacred kundalini fires). We can then learn to use our power more wisely. 

Collectively, humanity is facing their deepest wounds during these times of chaos, in between one age and another (from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius). To get too caught up in the fight of good vs evil means losing your opportunity to regain your own lost power, the only real way you can empower yourself to do your part to heal yourself, your ancestral energies and the world.

Specifically, through this combined Chiron and Prometheus healing, we heal our fallen creator male energies that exist in all of us, regardless of gender. You can think of these energies as the energies of endless war, over inflated egos, materialism, science over spirit, the mind separate from body and spirit. By facing our fears and wounds, we are able to heal our main Nadis (Ida, Pingala, and Sushumna), the channels through which our life force is supposed to flow, but often does not due to our separation from nature and spirit.

The myth of Prometheus helps us understand better what we see going on in the world and in our own lives: an endless cycle of abuse, the relentless cycle of giving and receiving abuse, shame, and pain. In Greek sources, Prometheus created fire out of clay. Zeus took the fire from humanity. Prometheus stole the fire back for humanity so they could connect to spirit and have warmth. Zeus then chained him to the mountain where vultures pecked at his liver every day which was then restored every night. Liver eating birds represent our angry fallen male side losing trust and hope in the future, while also destroying our bodies (our female side or nature from which we are disconnected). In this version of the story, Zeus is like our medical doctors or public health officials that no longer have a connection to Mother Earth and Father Sky, so our bodies get tired and deteriorate. We also give our power away and lose our sovereignty (does any of this sound familiar?). Our only path is to learn to heal ourselves, to come to terms with our own mortality, and to let go of our God-like illusions of ourselves. When we face the fear of death as well as our deepest fears and wounds, we break our “prometheus” chains and learn to use our life force power more responsibly. We reconnect to nature and spirit in the process, which helps us to reconnect to life, which, paradoxically, requires releasing our fear of death. We cannot forgive what we refuse to face in ourselves and the world.

To learn more about this interpretation of the myths of Chiron and Prometheus, please see Barbara Hand Clow’s book “Astrology and the Rising of Kundalini: The Transformative Power of Saturn, Chiron, and Uranus” very helpful. The entire Chapter “Chiron: The Rainbow Bridge” is relevant for this conversation (pages 198-201). Please click here to learn more about the book. Read the whole book. It will add a whole new layer to your understanding of the interconnections of astrology, cycles, the kundalini awakening, and shadow wounds.

Other helpful definitions:

Ida: female, lunar, cooling effect, river, Shakti, left in body, animal (nature)

Pingala: male, sun, right in body, Shiva, human

Shushumna: center channel

When Shakti and Shiva are united and duality is healed, energy flows freely up and down your spine through the healed three chambers. This is known as the Kundalini awakening.

Originally Published October 8, 2023

The Hidden Light

Moving Through the Dark Night of the Soul

I have been dreaming for years about ancient mysteries and mythologies. I have worked hard to stop overanalyzing the dreams and to journal instead. Even if years go by, sooner or later, some triggering experience, feeling, dream or encounter brings back one or more of these dreams like a puzzle that has no beginning or end, a slow revelation of secrets.

I have experienced the hard way what “dark night of the soul” means in my life. There were truths I did not want to see or face about myself or the world, but my path has been such that ignoring or not seeing these truths was not an option. I used to wonder why other people got to live such normal lives not wondering about these things or having to go through it. In one spiritual reading years ago, I was told that it is an honor to have a life like this. I would not wish it on my worst enemy, except I am finally through enough of it that I can start to see and feel glimmers of the hidden light. The light is not like anything I have experienced before. Words do not do this conversation justice. Sometimes after one of these experiences, I wake up crying, completely overwhelmed, knowing that I was just touched by Grace. For a reluctant spiritualist and recovering Catholic, this is no small thing. It is interesting how similar the intensity of grief and this level of unconditional love feel. In some of these dreams, there is resolution to old grief, mountains of wounds all layered on top of each other. In dreams like this, I feel the grief and then the release, with a knowing when I wake up that something amazing and profound just happened.

Now, I have paid for every type of healing there is trying to make sense of these dark night experiences that went on for so many years. I have meditated and taken many spiritual classes. I have repeated mantras. I have willed on the rising of the kundalini for the clearing that needed to happen only to be disappointed and poorer from all the money I spent. So far, the kundalini experiences I have had were not timed by me. They were not experiences I expected. I am realizing that my dreams have been about this slow awakening for a long time. I just did not recognize them as such at the time, but I look back at them now in wonder. They were just not experiences I could rush. They were in God’s timing, not mine. It does make a difference to recognize this as it is helps to know you are not crazy. There is nothing wrong with you even if it seems other people are making more progress than you are on your spiritual growth. It is not a race.

I paid for a spiritual reading recently and the reader blew it off for months. In my life, this is nothing strange. I thought “here we go again.” Months later, she surfaced with a message from her spiritual guides saying it was time to honor her commitments and to not let these people down. However, instead of the personal reading I expected, it was a group reading that felt more like an ancient mystical text or scroll that I had to decipher (again, nothing weird in my life). One of the key messages from that cryptic reading was that “I was a daughter of the hidden light.”

Of course, if that light is hidden even from me, how do I make sense of this message? However, I am finally starting to understand the comment from years ago about the blessing of a “Dark Night of the Soul” life. Liberating my trapped life force energy (which I call “Pan and Syringa”) is very connected with what people understand as the kundalini awakening. This awakening has been painfully slow for me, and the experiences have been so different than what I expected based on what I learned from the many healings and classes I have had.

If you already easily speak to your spiritual guides and journey out of body, you may even think you have no “awakening” left to do. Most of the time, that is not true at all. Sometimes it can even get in the way of healing the tougher issues that lurk around the lower chakras of your energy body. I feel these days that I was born without my spiritual gifts for a good reason. There was no real way I could walk away from healing my traumas from this life and other lives, those traumas that separated me from my soul, higher self and from life itself. Also, it is hard to feel grounded and hang around ordinary people when you are flying away every second talking to angels or zipping around in space and time (but thank goodness I still have my wild dreams).

As spirit knew how hard my lessons would be, I feel they gave me visions of what my return of my life force would eventually look and feel like. When spiritual people talk about awakenings, I typically get uncomfortable instead of hopeful. I feel that most of my soul is already in the higher dimensions, so why would I rush to leave? What is wrong with life anyway? The vision from this dream was about a level of human embodiment I could not imagine or understand at the time. I was not floating on a cloud with wings drinking angel nectar for a job well done. I was deeply alive, but no longer afraid or alone.

I did not know it at the time that this was a future vision of what the kundalini energy would look and feel like for me. I did not really understand it, but I do know it was beautiful.

About 5 years ago I had a dream about a beautiful little blond boy who lived in a small stone cottage. I went through the door of the cottage and saw the boy lying on a couch. He was a very special boy. He had guardians all around. I would describe these guardians as older, wiser grandmother types. When I walked up to him, he had my face. He was around 8 years old, forever young, in the sense he had a glow about him, but he was still a human boy in the dream. He seemed excited to see me and asked me if brought him some fruit (I love fresh fruit or maybe it was some funny reference to a return to the Garden of Eden in a metaphysical sense). I do not have kids in this life. I could not have them for medical reasons. I said to the grandmother guides, “I have a son!” And then I started to cry with feelings of a joy I have never felt before. When I woke up, I was still crying, knowing in my heart that this special little boy was real and also a part of me.

Originally Published September 24, 2023